There’s a tempest of controversy brewing over bringing people like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and some of the Gitmo gang to New York for trial on various terrorist acts.
To those New Yorkers who have expressed outrage that:
a) these assholes are coming back to New York for trial
b) their very presence in New York places an unnecessary safety risk and economic burden on the community
c) by moving them onto US territory we are, in effect, giving them Constitutional protections to which they are not entitled,
I agree, but I am no longer at all surprised at the depths of stupidity that are fathomed regularly by our elected and appointed officials.
Wait until next week. I’m sure they’ll do something even more fatuous.
The biggest mistake they are making here has nothing to do with jurisprudence or constitutional vs. military law. It has everything to do with publicity and martyrdom. New York, Chicago, or LA are the last places we want to try these bastards.
A few modest proposals:
Try them in places like Altoona, Flint, Duluth, or Missoula. Make sure the trials are scheduled for the dead of winter. This will encourage media types to agitate for swift trials.
Find towns where unemployment is high. Jury pay isn’t much but it will help, and all those media types hanging around the bar at the local Comfort Inn will do wonders for the local economy.
Give these towns generous grants for whatever they want—new schools, shopping malls, courthouses, golf courses. Make it worth their while. It’ll still be cheaper than what these trials will cost in New York.
Assign plenty of police and military protection so local law enforcement isn’t overwrought.
Make sure that travel connections are as inconvenient as possible. This will reduce the number of demonstrators of all persuasions.
Do Not Sentence Any of These Cocksuckers to Death
Remember, they really believe this Instant Path to Paradise, 72 Virgin, Jihad Martyrdom shit. They are products of a culture of death. Their demise at the hands of infidels establishes their bona fides. They become martyrs, heroes, and role models for the next generation of suicide bombers and child murderers.
Sentence them to life and make sure they serve their time in remote, little-known prisons like Menard IL or Florence CO. Sentence them to a life (and death) of obscurity. When they finally succumb to old age (if Big J and Paco don’t shank them first), make sure they die in obscurity. Delay the announcement of their deaths by at least a month. Cremate them.
Limit their contact with the outside world. Confine them to solitary for their own safety. (Believe it or not, our prisons hold quite a few inmates who consider themselves patriots. They would love to take down a jihadist in the recreation yard).
US Army Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan
And, when all the trials are over, let’s hold a special session to nominate the Most Reprehensible Terrorist. He gets a special cell with Nidal Hasan as a roommate.
According to Hasan’s lawyer, poor Hasan is paralyzed from the chest down and is incontinent. Wouldn’t it be appropriate to sentence Khalid Sheikh Mohammed to a lifetime of wiping Hasan’s ass?
This entry was posted on Monday, November 23rd, 2009 at 9:33 AM and is filed under Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
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Make Them Non-Persons
To those New Yorkers who have expressed outrage that:
I agree, but I am no longer at all surprised at the depths of stupidity that are fathomed regularly by our elected and appointed officials.
Wait until next week. I’m sure they’ll do something even more fatuous.
The biggest mistake they are making here has nothing to do with jurisprudence or constitutional vs. military law. It has everything to do with publicity and martyrdom. New York, Chicago, or LA are the last places we want to try these bastards.
A few modest proposals:
Do Not Sentence Any of These Cocksuckers to Death
Remember, they really believe this Instant Path to Paradise, 72 Virgin, Jihad Martyrdom shit. They are products of a culture of death. Their demise at the hands of infidels establishes their bona fides. They become martyrs, heroes, and role models for the next generation of suicide bombers and child murderers.
Sentence them to life and make sure they serve their time in remote, little-known prisons like Menard IL or Florence CO. Sentence them to a life (and death) of obscurity. When they finally succumb to old age (if Big J and Paco don’t shank them first), make sure they die in obscurity. Delay the announcement of their deaths by at least a month. Cremate them.
Limit their contact with the outside world. Confine them to solitary for their own safety. (Believe it or not, our prisons hold quite a few inmates who consider themselves patriots. They would love to take down a jihadist in the recreation yard).
US Army Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan
And, when all the trials are over, let’s hold a special session to nominate the Most Reprehensible Terrorist. He gets a special cell with Nidal Hasan as a roommate.
According to Hasan’s lawyer, poor Hasan is paralyzed from the chest down and is incontinent. Wouldn’t it be appropriate to sentence Khalid Sheikh Mohammed to a lifetime of wiping Hasan’s ass?
Like this:
This entry was posted on Monday, November 23rd, 2009 at 9:33 AM and is filed under Commentary. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.