Last Friday, Irish bookmaker Paddy Power cut the odds on Pope Ratzinger resigning from 12 to 1 down to 3 to 1. Heavy betting against His Holiness forced Paddy to adjust his line.
Making book on the Pope’s resignation? Blasphemy! After all, the Pope is infallible is he not? Paddy, whose knack for setting odds is pretty good, apparently figures that even those deemed infallible can take a dive. Remember when the unbeaten (and apparently infallible) Mike Tyson hit the canvas at the hands of Buster Douglas? Odds on that one were 42 to 1.
So why all this betting against the Pope? Is this some new form of Pascal’s Wager, where the payoff comes before you’re dead?
Maybe so. The underlying bet here is that the guys who work for Ratzinger can’t keep their peckers in their pants. That’s been a pretty solid bet for the last 50 years. What’s changing is that the Church is losing its ability to keep a lid on this kind of stuff. It’s not Ratzinger’s fault, perhaps, but he’s not a very likable guy and when yet another priest gets nailed for nailing a minor parishioner, the pope can’t keep it out of the papers or off the internet anymore. Nobody’s willing to cover his back.
Consider just the events so far in 2010:
Feb 2 – Ratzinger reams new assholes for Irish bishops. All twenty four of them are called to the Vatican and each, in private, is given 7 minutes to explain to the pope how 46 of their priests were allowed to abuse at least 320 children over a 30-year period.
Feb 2 – Before meeting with the pope, the Irish bishops pray for the victims of priestly abuse. I’ll bet that’s not all they prayed for.
Feb 16 – Ratzinger issues statement explaining “how the weakening of faith has been a significant contributing factor in the phenomenon of the sexual abuse of minors.” My rejoinder: Do you suppose the sexual abuse of minors may have weakened their faith?
March 3 – Police wiretaps intercept one of the pope’s “Gentlemen of His Holiness” and a Vatican choir member negotiating for the services of a male prostitute. Father Thomas Williams tells CBS News there’s more to come on this story. “We’re talking about a [male prostitution] ring.”
March 8 – Papal adviser, Cardinal Walter Kasper, tells an Italian newspaper that the Church needs to clean up its act over child abuse. Ya think?
March 14 – Accusations surface that Ratzinger may have tried to cover up child abuse in his old job in Bavaria. Monsignor Charles. J. Scicluna says that accusations the pope had helped cover up abuse were “false and calumnious.” Any time someone uses the word calumnious, you can pretty much figure he’s guilty.
March 14 – Irish betting pro lowers the odds on the pope’s resignation from 12 to 1 (highly unlikely) to 3 to 1 (distinctly possible).
March 14 – Vatican officials confirm 3000 allegations of abuses of minors by priests have been made since 2001. Twenty percent of these cases have been brought to trial in Vatican courts
March 15 – I finally figure out why priests wear robes: to cover up their perpetual hard-ons.

Posted by Lloyd Williams 






“You Can’t Fix Stupid”
March 16, 2010Alert readers will recognize the title of this piece was stolen shamelessly from comedian Ron White. Thanks Ron.
Now, what does stupid look like? Try this:
Sam Dillon
New York Times
The notion that we can eliminate proficiency requirements in reading and math and at the same time ensure “that all students should graduate from high school prepared for college and a career” is so absurd that I can’t even comment.
Secretary of Education Arne Duncan
I will simply point out that this brilliant idea is the result of collaboration between Mr. Obama and long-time Chicago friend and now Secretary of Education Arne Duncan.
Mr. Duncan graduated magna cum laude from Harvard University with a bachelor’s degree in sociology in 1987. (This should tell you something about the quality of a Harvard education). He has repeatedly stressed that long-term economic prospects in the United States are closely tied to the quality of education its students receive.
Duncan told the National Association of Independent Colleges and Universities that “the best thing we can do is educate our way to a better economy,” and that the U.S. has an “economic imperative” to do a better job educating its people.
In a speech to the U.S. Chamber of Commerce Duncan said, “I believe that the quality of our education system says as much about the long-term health of our economy as the stock market, the unemployment rate and the size of the gross domestic product.”
Then he comes up with the brilliant idea of sending kids off to college who are incompetent in math and language.
We’re fucked.