News McNuggets

“Unrelenting sex drive may signal deadly rabies”
MSNBC

Charlie Sheen has rabies?

“Romney will do anything to get elected”
The Atlantic

And that makes him different from the rest of them….how?

“Car rental firm Hertz fired 26 [Muslim] employees at its Sea-Tac Airport location for failing to clock out when they take their prayer breaks….They have not applied the policy to people who take smoke breaks.”
KOMO Seattle

So, the Muslims should start smoking while they’re on their prayer mats.

Auto racing legend Al Unser Jr. was arrested and charged with DWI in Albuquerque, after investigators said his blood alcohol content was twice the legal limit and he was speeding at more than 100 mph.
KOAT Albuquerque

Maybe Al should have tipped a few before his races. He might have won more.

NM holds highest solve-rate for bank robberies in U.S.
KOB Albuquerque

No, it’s not smart cops. It’s dumb bank robbers.

About 36% of consumers will drive five miles out of their way to save three cents per gallon of gasoline.
Marketwatch

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.
H.L.Mencken

54 percent of voters want to throw out every member of Congress.
Christian Science Monitor

Yes, but they all think their own congressman is a good guy. Repeat after me: “My congressman is an idiot.”

Investigators have not ruled out foul play in the death of a young Arkansas man whose body was discovered in an empty bathtub next to a sleeping TV meteorologist.
Fox News

Sorry, I just think this is funny.

“My next door neighbor’s two dogs have created more shovel ready jobs than this president.”
attributed to stealth presidential candidate Gary Johnson

Rick Perry ought to hire Johnson’s speech writers.

An expert panel convened by the National Academy of Sciences concluded that the FAA lacks the technical expertise needed to build and manage complex air-traffic systems.
Businessweek

Which is, of course, why the FAA is in the business of building and managing a complex air-traffic system.

On Monday, to the disappointment of many who were ready to break their dusk to dawn fast, the [Indonesian] Ministry of Religious Affairs announced that Eid al-Fitr would fall on Wednesday because the moon was still too low on the horizon.
VOA News

While our politicians fritter away their time on things like taxes and the deficit, here’s a government that’s got its priorities in order.

Republicans stormed into control of the House of Representatives last fall on a promise to cut spending by $100 billion this year. But instead of reducing outlays, the Republicans managed to do what all Congresses eventually do: Spend more.
Wall Street Journal

Again, repeat after me: “My congressman is an idiot.”


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