No Nukes is Good Nukes

March 10, 2010

Last month, I published a three-part series on The Coming Nuclear Attack on the US. You’re welcome to review the posts if you’re interested but, if time is short, just focus on two things:

  1. An attempted terrorist attack on the United States in the next few years is “a certainty.”
  2. Given sufficient fuel any motivated group can build an effective nuclear weapon.

Now comes Francis J. Gavin of the University of Texas at Austin, to disagree with me. In a Los Angeles Times op-ed piece published yesterday, No Need to Ban the Bomb, Professor Gavin argues that we shouldn’t be very concerned about nuclear proliferation.

Read Gavin’s full piece if you have the time but here’s the nexus of his argument:

[It is an] overstatement that a catastrophic terrorist nuclear attack against the United States is inevitable. Eight and a half years after the horrific 9/11 terrorist attacks, we have not had the atomic attack on our soil that many experts predicted.

[It is an] exaggeration that the threat of rogue nuclear nations today is unprecedented in history. To some, a nuclear Iran or North Korea is so unacceptable as to justify preemptive strikes against their nuclear capabilities. We forget that the so-called rogue threat is not new: The peril presented by a nuclear-armed Mao in the 1960s was far more dangerous than anything Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s Iran could offer today.

Gavin, in my opinion misses two key points.

First, time is not an issue for Islamo-Fascist terrorists. Sure, it’s been 8 1/2 years since their last big score. They’d like to do something big tomorrow if they could, but they haven’t found the fuel to build a bomb yet. They will.

Second, these terrorists are not aligned with any particular nation or geographical location. They’re on “a mission from god.” Even Professor Gavin’s so-called rogue nations don’t want to get involved in the terrorists’ plans because if, say, Tehran or Pyongyang were identified as the source of a terrorist nuclear device, nuclear retaliation from the United States would be swift and devastating.

Everything has its price, including enriched uranium and plutonium. There already is enough unaccounted-for nuclear material in the world to put together quite a few bombs. It’s just a matter of time until some jihadists get enough of the stuff together in one place to accomplish their goal.

As with the 9/11 attacks, we may be able to run down a few poster boys and prosecute them but it won’t reverse the damage we’ve suffered and it won’t really make any difference to the terrorists. Khalid Shaikh Mohammed (the self-proclaimed mastermind of the 9/11 attacks) will be a hero and martyr to his cause whether we hang him or let him rot in jail.

Who knows how many virgins await the guy who masterminds the first nuclear attack on US soil.


Breakin’ Rocks in the Hot Sun

March 9, 2010

A lot of countries in the world find it necessary to have a Ministry of Information, Ministry of Truth or, in a few very candid cases, a Ministry of Propaganda.

Not here in the land of the Big PX. In the US it seems every federal, state, and local government puts out its own propaganda with occasional help from a ’spokesman’ who is skilled at handling the press.

The best part of the story in the US is that the press pretty much repeats whatever it is told by whatever government agency, occasionally going “in depth” to ask a few rhetorical or sophomoric questions. The g-types just tell the press where to turn their cameras (or few remaining pencils) to get the latest ‘news you can use.’

It’s tax season all across America right now so the propaganda coming out of the government offices at all levels concentrates on stories about people in deep shit because they tried to avoid paying their “fair share.”

Several things amuse me about this propaganda push. First is the fact that all of these stories (and the prosecutions behind them) seem to happen between January 1 and April 15. Nobody goes to court for tax fraud in July.  Second, the government and their lap-dogs in the press concentrate on the rich, the famous, and the successful just to make sure that we common slobs know that while Hollywood or Wall Street or a prominent local judge can get away with a lot of shit because of their lofty status, NO ONE gets a pass on taxes. Government is more than happy to ignore the Bernie Madoffs of the world as long as they’re only stealing from other taxpayers.

A few samples gleaned at random from the day’s press:

Chula Vista Tax Preparer Pleads Guilty to Fraud, Tax Evasion
The message here is that even the smart guys, who know the Tax Code inside out and can conjure every questionable deduction and hide income in all sorts of unlikely places cannot deceive America’s crack revenuers. David Canales faces up to 25 years in prison for his sins. If he can’t beat the system, what hope is there for a dumb guy like you?

Celebrity Goes to Jail, Pays Heavy Fines, Assets Seized for Tax Fraud
We can’t count on someone well-known to get his tax tit in a wringer at just the right time of the year so here’s how the revenuers cover this one. They replay an old case with some new bits. Girls Gone Wild producer Joe Francis got himself in all sorts of trouble beginning in 2007.  The case lasted a couple of years but it pretty well wrapped up in November 2009, too early for the Ministry of Propaganda to get maximum impact out of it. So what to do? This week they put out a big story on how they’ve reached a plea bargain with Joe’s ex-partner on a bribery charge. No fine, no jail, no story here but the feds get to repeat all the naughty details about Joe:  2009 federal tax lien in the amount of $33,819,087.14; IRS seizure of over $100,000,000 in cash from various bank accounts; credit for the time he has served in jail; subject to one year of supervised release.

Retired FBI Agent Pleads Guilty to Tax Evasion
Geez, Jan Lindsey worked for the FBI (Fumbling, Bungling, and Ineptitude) for 26 years as an agent and another 10 as a contractor. He was arrested last May and copped a plea but, somehow, the court didn’t get around to accepting the plea deal until the middle of tax season.

City Councilman Goes to Jail for Not Paying Taxes
And, what’s worse, he lied! Horrors! Columbia SC Councilman E.W. Cromartie did not pay federal taxes and lied about it to investigators. As a result, Cromartie will go to prison, according to a plea agreement filed late last week. City Councilmen should stick to shaking down real estate developers.

Oregon Woman Indicted on Tax Charges
Nothing here, except she’s 68. They just want you senior citizens to know that you’re fucked, too.

Doctors Plead Guilty to Failing to Report Income
You always want a doc getting nailed. This one is prime because it involves a husband wife with a small practice in Nebraska. Obama may not know exactly where Nebraska is but the revenuers do.

UBS to Provide Data to IRS on 4500 Clients
This happened last August but the story has been resurrected for tax season on the pretext of an “update” on UBS. What’s really great is that UBS is a Swiss company. These 4500 presumably wealthy Americans thought maybe their money was safe in Switzerland.

If  rich, famous, well-connected, elderly, professional insiders get nailed, what chance do you have?


Die, Barry, Die

March 8, 2010

Nation of Islam Minister Louis Farrakhan gets crazier as he gets older. Now 76, Farrakhan has become so delusional that he claims there’s a preacher out there publicly praying for the death of President Obama. Even though it was pretty obvious that Farrakhan was drowning in paranoia, I decided to check on this allegation just so I could add one more piece to the growing body of evidence that Farrakhan is nuts (see below).

Minister Louis was wrong when he claimed a preacher was actively praying for Mr. Obama’s death—it turns out there are at least two: the Rev. Wiley Drake of First Southern Baptist Church in Buena Park CA, and the Rev. Steven Anderson of the Faithful Word Baptist Church in Tempe AZ.

The Rev. Anderson brought credit to clergymen everywhere when he said in an August 16, 2009 sermon that he hopes Mr. Obama “dies and goes to hell.” Anderson added, “If you want to know how I’d like to see Obama die, I’d like him to die of natural causes. I don’t want him to be a martyr, we don’t need another holiday. I’d like to see him die, like Ted Kennedy, of brain cancer.”

Meanwhile, another wellspring of Christian love and charity, the Rev. Mr. Drake says, “I think it’s appropriate to pray the Word of God. I’m not saying anything. What I am doing is repeating what God is saying, and if that puts me on somebody’s list, then I’ll just have to be on their list. If he (Mr. Obama) does not turn to God and does not turn his life around, I am asking God to enforce imprecatory prayers that are throughout the Scripture that would cause him death, that’s correct.”

So, we’ve got two crazy “Christians” who apparently are not entirely in touch with Christ’s teachings and one crazy Muslim who is apparently is not in touch at all. Minister Farrakhan’s revelations at the February 28 Nation of Islam Savior’s Day celebration are instructive. During a 3 ½ hour tirade (please Minister Farrakhan, I gotta piss) we learned the following:

  • The Zionists are in control of the Congress
  • 9/11 was an inside job
  • Minister Farrakhan was given the ability to predict the future while on a spaceship one million years ahead of America’s technology
  • The spaceship contains 1500 airplanes, each containing 3 bombs
  • Angels on the spaceship can build walls out of air

Farrakhan concluded his remarks by reminding his audience that “I’m very humble, I’m a light in the midst of darkness.” He said that it would be “too cheap” to call him a prophet. Apparently he has been promoted to a higher rank. I’m betting on Son of God or maybe Uncle of God.

Let’s hope Messrs Farrakhan, Drake, and Anderson get to spend some quality time in Hell together.


My Biggest Mistake as a Parent

March 7, 2010

Raising children is not easy and, as the saying goes, ‘they don’t come with instruction manuals.’

Nonetheless, there are thousands of resources out there on the business of parenting—everything from the durable Dr. Spock to current works on subjects like ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder) and autism.

None of the books I read as a parent prepared me, however, for the dramatic decline in the quality of our public school system. I stupidly sent my children into the public schools assuming that the schools were of about the same quality that they had been when I was a child.

This was a mistake. In the years between my graduation from high school and the entry of my eldest into high school the goals, capabilities, and competence of the public school system had declined significantly. By the time I realized how bad the system was, my eldest had graduated with no interest whatsoever in going to college, and my two younger children elected to get the hell out early and take GED’s instead of diplomas.

These three children all had IQ’s in the 130’s and yet were not particularly successful in the public schools.

All three, in my opinion, were bored, traumatized, and poorly served educationally by our public schools. This was not unique to our local school district. As I became aware of the problem and began researching it, the ’scales were lifted from my eyes.’  I became aware that a primary and secondary education system that was once the envy of the world no longer existed in the United States save for a few anomalous school districts.

It would take a book to detail what has gone wrong with our public schools. At the risk of ignoring significant details and making too-broad generalizations, I will itemize a few of the sea changes that took place in our public schools during the last half of the twentieth century.

Public school teachers are not as intelligent as were their predecessors. Surveys of the various colleges within major universities have consistently shown that students in the colleges of education have the lowest IQ’s and the lowest SAT scores of any college within the university.  Bright individuals, who themselves were good students, do not go into education. Money and opportunity are probably the biggest deterrents to seeking a career in public education.

The decline in the general abilities of public school teachers is tied closely to the expanding horizons for women in the job market. Until about 1970, the two major career opportunities open to intelligent, motivated women were nursing and education. Most other professional fields were often outright hostile to women.  Nursing and education both benefited greatly from this discrimination as they had the inside track on recruiting the best and the brightest from among roughly half the population. Granted, women did not go to college in the numbers they do today (there are now more women than men in US colleges) but there was an ample supply to fill jobs in teaching and nursing with first-rate, competent individuals. This is no longer the case as there are now few professions that are difficult for women to enter.

Schools became centers for social equality and social engineering. Their primary mission, education, was diluted by all sorts of well-meaning but meaningless attempts to insure ‘no child left behind,’ a high school diploma for everyone, and accommodation for the disadvantages and shortcomings of every student. Education has become politicized, placing emphasis on world-saving agendas (every 4th grader knows about global warming). Rather than educate, schools strive to reshape the attitudes of students. Assorted dogmas, including multicultural diversity and “relevance” have been substituted for basic knowledge.

Schools were forced to concentrate on ideas like ‘mainstreaming’ the mentally and physically challenged. Special education programs were forced into every school system by federal funds and federal mandates. Today, it is not unusual for a public school system to pour 40% of its resources into the lowest-performing 10% of its students.

Parents, forced by increasing personal wants and by a more burdensome tax structure, chose to create households where both were generating incomes. They became far too dependent on the school system to provide the kind of support and nurturing that traditionally had come from parents, particularly from mothers. The ’stay-at-home’ mom virtually disappeared and schools were expected to pick up the slack. Given budgets, class sizes, and the number of hours in a school day, the school systems were unable to rise to this challenge.

The influence of unions increased significantly in the schools. Virtually unheard of in the 1950’s, by 2000 teachers’ unions had become a significant barrier to needed changes in our school systems. The unions made it particularly difficult for school administrators to get rid of incompetent teachers.

The Bottom Line

As I said above, this subject is worthy of a book-length manuscript and, indeed, many have been written. (Thomas Sowell’s Inside American Education is a good place to start). But here’s my bottom line:

If you’re planning to have children, plan to pay for their education and send them to a private school that emphasizes basic knowledge and life-long learning skills. If your child comes home with a science project on ‘global warming,’ ask his teacher how a pendulum works. If the teacher can’t answer the question, find another school. The teacher doesn’t know shit about science and is obviously teaching relevance over reality.


The Black Abortion Conspiracy

March 6, 2010

Abortion is with us to stay. It probably is the worst possible means of birth control. It has been controversial for thousands of years and, in the United States, it has remained a matter of continuous debate and occasional bloodshed since the Supreme Court’s Roe vs. Wade decision in 1974.

I am particularly bothered by the cynical tactics of both abortion foes and abortion proponents. Both have shameless records of exaggeration, lying, threats, and fear-mongering.

The latest, in this case from abortion foes, is completely out of bounds.

Georgia Right to Life, the state’s largest anti-abortion organization, hired Catherine Davis to be its minority outreach coordinator. Ms Davis has been traveling to black churches and colleges statewide delivering this message to young black women: If you get pregnant, don’t get an abortion. Abortions are part of a white conspiracy to eradicate the black race.

As with most conspiracy theories, this one is backed by no substantive evidence and a plausible, but highly unlikely scenario. This is akin to claiming that the NBA is part of a conspiracy to drive whites out of basketball. If you manhandle the statistics you can allege almost anything.

The data make it apparent that abortion is a major concern among blacks. Blacks make up 13% of the US population but they have 40% of the abortions. Nearly 40% of all black pregnancies end in abortion. That rate is 3 times the rate of white women and twice the rate of all other races combined.

Further, about 75% of all black births are to unwed mothers, more than double the rate among the non-black population.

There is a problem both with births to unwed mothers and with abortions among blacks. But these same problems exist among non-blacks at lower rates. There is not a shred of evidence pointing to a eugenic conspiracy to eradicate blacks by encouraging abortions.

According to the SisterSong Women of Color Reproductive Health Collective, the reason blacks have so many abortions is simple: “too many unwanted pregnancies.”

Georgia Right to Life, undaunted by demographic realities, has put up more than 80 billboards captioned “Black children are an endangered species.”

Pro-life Republicans are delighted. They see this conspiracy theory as driving a wedge into one of the Democratic Party’s most loyal constituencies. They relish the prospect of splitting off a piece of the Democratic Party even if it is based on rumors, lies, innuendo, fear, uncertainty, and despair.

Remember this, Republicans and Democrats—blacks and whites: the abortion debate is over. As with gun control we’ve reached an uneasy truce where half the population is on one side and half is on the other.

Nothing is going to change in either of these arenas. Politicians will play on your fears: “You’ll lose your right to an abortion; more people will be carrying guns, abortions will increase dramatically,” etc, etc.

If you vote for anyone based solely on his/her stand on abortion or gun control, you are a sucker.


“Adios”

March 5, 2010

“Pending the outcome of our investigation, the employees involved in this incident are not controlling air traffic. This behavior is not acceptable and does not demonstrate the kind of professionalism expected from all FAA employees.”

Federal Aviation Administration Statement

You’ve probably heard the story. On two separate days in February, children issued departure instructions to several flights at JFK International Airport. A portion of the transcripts:

Boy: AMX 403, Contact departures. Adios.

Pilot: Contact departures. Aeromexico 403. Adios.

Another transmission from the tape:

Boy: Jet Blue 171 cleared for takeoff.

Pilot: Cleared for takeoff. Jet blue 171.

Boy: Jet Blue 171 — contact departures.

Pilot: Over to departures. Jet blue 171. Awesome job. (chuckle)

"Big Bird 277, climb and maintain 3000. Contact departure"

The FAA, an agency that already has done much about which it should be greatly embarrassed is once again in the public light when an air traffic controller brings a couple of his kids to work and lets them issue instructions to departing aircraft.

As a safety issue this was such a low-risk proposition that it would defy analysis. The pilots were advised they would receive instructions from a child, the instructions issued by the child were correct, and since the instructions were completely routine, they were exactly what the pilots expected to hear.

No lives were placed in jeopardy but the careers of an air traffic controller and his supervisor definitely were. They have been suspended “pending an investigation” and even their union, the National Air Traffic Controllers Association (NATCA) is reluctant to provide them with any backup.

Jolly good. Air traffic controllers would lead you to believe they have some of the most difficult, stressful jobs in the world and that human lives hang on their every decision.

The truth is that, while air traffic control is a job that most people couldn’t do, for those who have the right qualifications, it’s pretty easy work. It requires knowledge, diligence, and concentration but it is not, as they say, rocket science.

Air traffic controllers are grossly overpaid, most earning in the high 5 or low 6 figures. During an 8 1/2 hour shift, they typically are “on position” (actually directing the flow of aircraft) for 3-4 hours. They take breaks, occasionally doing training or certification, but spend most of their time in the lounge watching satellite TV.

Their jobs are sort of like playing a video game that is not as complex as the ones played by a lot of teenage boys.

Write this one off to some otherwise bright individuals acting stupidly. The controller and his supervisor could have retired at 55 with a generous pension and medical benefits. Now, they’re going to have to compete in a job market where their skills and experience won’t transfer to much else.

As the kid says, “Adios ,guys.”


Am I My Brother’s Keeper?

March 4, 2010

It’s interesting to me that conservatives are more likely than liberals to be Christians. And yet, it is the liberals who constantly invoke Judeo-Christian teachings in an effort to take what is mine and give it to someone else.

Caveat and encouragement: I am not a Christian but was raised as one. The following is not a sermon but, for the benefit of you lucky bastards who didn’t have to sit through two or three hours of church and Sunday school every week, I need to give you a little background. Bear with me. I’ll keep it short and then make my point.

“Am I my brother’s keeper?” The question is raised in Genesis, the first book of the Bible. Like most biblical stories it is murky enough so that a preacher can make about anything he likes out of it. In this case, Cain has killed his brother Abel. (Read the story [Genesis 4] because the reason for the murder itself is perverse). God happens to be in the neighborhood (he used to get out a lot more than he does these days) and runs into Cain. He says to Cain, “Where is Abel your brother?” (Of course, being omniscient, God already knows what’s going down but he’s just busting Cain’s balls). And Cain says, (“What the fuck, I dunno.) Am I my brother’s keeper?”

The question is, apparently, rhetorical and God never answers. Not until the New Testament anyway when he “sends his only begotten son” to say, “Fuck yes.”

According to the New Testament we are to “love one another, receive one another, edify one another, serve one another, bear one another’s burdens, submit to one another, exhort one another, and be hospitable to one another.” Jesus H. Christ!

Fast forward to 2010 and our current president, commander in chief, and liberal wacko. We’re still not sure whether he’s a Christian, a Muslim, or a Scientologist. It doesn’t matter because, just like most liberals, he’s pushing that “brother’s keeper” crap on us without ever saying it. Have you ever noticed that it’s just assumed by most liberals that you are your brother’s keeper but they never, ever come out and say it? Never. It’s like being your brother’s keeper is a given, a natural law of the universe on par with the speed of light and the mass of a proton.

Listen to President Barry O. last Friday (the italics are mine):

“The tens of millions of men and women who cannot afford their health insurance cannot wait another generation for us to act. Small businesses cannot wait. Americans with pre-existing conditions cannot wait. State and federal budgets cannot sustain these rising costs. It is time for those of us in Washington to live up to our responsibilities to the American people and to future generations.”

The underlying assumption here is that I am my brother’s keeper, that somehow, because these poor uninsured came to exist on this planet in these United States at this time that it is a given that it is my responsibility to see to it that they have adequate health care. Fuck ‘em. If Suzy had called me before she got laid by Larry, I’d have told her, ‘Do what you like hun, but I ain’t paying for your bastard child’s braces.’

And note how the president, again in the classic liberal fashion, deflects the truth about who’s going to pay for this. “It is time for those of us in Washington yada yada.”

Who the hell do you think is going to pay for all this? Certainly nobody in Washington. The bill will come right to your door and the money will be taken from you at gunpoint. (Don’t understand what I mean? We’ll talk another time).

And on what authority is your money taken and given to someone else? By whom has it been established that you are your brother’s keeper? I’d love to hear Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid admonish me that it’s my Christian duty to pay for someone else’s health care because “you are your brother’s keeper.” Am I bound by a 2000-year-old version of communism written by a bunch of itinerant shepherds?

Maybe it’s in the Constitution. Nope. Not there. And don’t give me that “promote the general welfare” shit.

First, it’s in the preamble, not the Constitution and it has been established for nearly 200 years that the preamble is not an enforceable part of the Constitution.

Second, even if it were part of the Constitution, taking something from you and giving it to me does not “promote the general welfare.” It merely promotes my welfare at your expense.

Please, Barry, just shut up and leave us all alone. We don’t need your help. Really.


Liars’ Academy

March 3, 2010

In these hard economic times many people, unable to find jobs, are starting their own businesses. One of the tricks to building a successful business is to do something that few others are doing. “Find the need and fill it,” as the saying goes.

Here’s a need just waiting to be filled: a Liars’ Academy.

There are too many people out there whose business requires them to lie regularly and they just can’t pull it off. Open a Liars’ Academy and teach the basics: dissembling, ambiguous language; plausible deniability; unverifiable assertions; and knowing when the best tactic is to just keeping your fucking mouth shut. There are myriad techniques to telling good lies but it seems many people in the public eye, be they businessmen, politicians, or common criminals don’t have a handle on it.

A potential customer:

Two stewardesses on a Delta Connection flight bound for Atlanta got into a fistfight in the cabin of the plane before it left Rochester. A passenger told a local news station, “They [the stewardesses] got into a fistfight on the plane. The pilot decided to kick everyone off the plane.”

Another passenger said, “They told us we had to get off the plane because stewardesses were fighting.”

The plane returned to the gate. Everyone was offloaded and Pinnacle Airlines, the Delta Connection operator, found alternate transportation for the affected passengers. Both stewardesses were removed from duty “pending an investigation.”

Now comes Pinnacle spokesman, Joe Williams, claiming that the plane returned to the gate “because a passenger had become ill.”

We’ve already got testimony from two passengers, the pilot, and the co-pilot all saying there was a fistfight between the stewardesses. And the stews were suspended.

Joe needs to attend the Liars’ Academy.

______________________

A huge iceberg, 60 miles long, up to 24 miles wide, and 1400 feet thick has broken off the continent of Antarctica. Scientists disagree on whether the iceberg will affect weather in the southern hemisphere or make it harder for Emperor penguins to find food.

But, so far, no environmentalists have stepped forward to say that the break-off of the iceberg was our fault. They should be cobbling together some global warming, carbon footprint shit that appears to have scientific credibility.

Clearly, they need the Liars’ Academy.

______________________

And you remember the ACORN scandal:

ACORN CEO Bertha Lewis -"You Can't Do That!"

A couple of free-lancers, James O’Keefe and Hannah Giles, filmed some pretty embarrassing incidents in several ACORN (Association for Community Organizations for Reform Now) offices. The couple masqueraded as being interested in starting a business: a whorehouse, to be blunt about it. They needed help getting money to start this venture. Videos taken in several different ACORN facilities showed similar outcomes: ACORN employees counseling the couple on how to qualify for a house loan (or is there a separate category for whore house loans?) and also giving advice on the employment of illegal, under-age aliens as prostitutes, while claiming them as “dependents” in order to receive welfare benefits (which would, one presumes, include a lot of penicillin shots).

ACORN claimed it was a misunderstanding, that the whole thing was a put-on by its employees who knew they were being filmed, that they were entrapped, etc. ACORN even stood “solidly” behind the videotaped employees, right up to the minute they fired them.

Clearly, ACORN head Bertha Lewis and her PR flacks need the Liar’s Academy.

______________________

On December 12, 2009, at the US Military Academy (West Point), Barack Obama said he was sending 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan immediately but that “these additional American and international troops will allow us to accelerate handing over responsibility to Afghan forces and allow us to begin the transfer of our forces out of Afghanistan in July of 2011.”

On February 27, 2010 the head of the British Army, General Sir David Richard, said British troops will remain in Afghanistan for the next five years. (There’s no way the Brits are going to stay there unless the Americans remain also).

Obama’s obviously lying. But he doesn’t need to attend the Liars’ Academy. He should be on the faculty. Notice the dissembling, ambiguous language: “…allow us to begin the transfer of our forces.” This is what lying is all about. He never says when we’re getting out, or if we’re ever getting out. He simply says we can “begin.”  If we “begin” by transferring 10 soldiers a year out of Afghanistan, we can stay ten thousand years without making a liar out of Obama. This is first-class stuff.

______________________

Sure, I know it’s a great idea. No need to thank me. Just send along 10% of your earnings or some really good lie about why you can’t send me any money.


Air France Flight 447

March 2, 2010

An update on Air France flight 447 is in order.

Unfortunately, the best outcome for this tragedy would have been finding bomb residue on the few parts of the aircraft that were recovered. We’ll never know what really happened but virtually all of the other possibilities do not bode well for Air France, the operator, or Airbus Industries, the builder.

On May 31 2009, Air France 447, an Airbus A330-203 took off from Rio de Janeiro bound for Paris. The airplane was flying at 35,000 feet when the last contact from the crew, a routine message to Brazilian air traffic controllers was made at 01:33 UTC as the aircraft approached the edge of Brazilian radar surveillance over the Atlantic Ocean. The aircraft entered an area of the Atlantic where radar and air-to-ground radio were unavailable. Its next scheduled contact was due when it entered Senegalese airspace off the coast of West Africa. Forty minutes after pilot radio contact was lost, a five-minute-long series of automatic radio messages was received from the plane via satellite link, indicating numerous problems and warnings. The aircraft is believed to have been lost shortly after it sent the automated messages.

On June 6 2009, a search and rescue operation recovered two bodies and debris from the aircraft floating in the ocean 680 mi (1,090 km) northeast of the Fernando de Noronha islands off Brazil’s northern coast. This finding confirmed that AF 447 had crashed into the Atlantic Ocean on 1 June 2009, killing all 216 passengers and 12 crew members.

The so-called “black boxes,” the Flight Data Recorder (FDR) and Cockpit Voice Recorder (CVR) were never recovered. They, along with most of the passengers and wreckage of the aircraft, are believed to be in water about 9800 feet deep. A new search for the FDR and CVR is scheduled for March 2010.

The last messages from AF 447 were Aircraft Communication Addressing and Reporting System (ACARS) reports transmitted automatically from the aircraft to a satellite, thence to Air France maintenance personnel in Paris. ACARS was designed to transmit routine maintenance data on the aircraft so that ground personnel would be ready to service the aircraft with appropriate parts and personnel when it reached its destination. ACARS data were not intended to provide the kind of crash-related data normally recorded by the FDR.

Because the FDR was not recovered, the ACARS data became essential to determining the fate of AF 447. Within a five-minute period ACARS transmitted 5 failure reports 19 warnings. The last of these messages was transmitted at 02:14UTC. The ACARS failures and warnings included navigation auto-flight, flight controls, cabin air-handling, and the pitot-static system; twelve warning messages with the same time code indicate that the autopilot and auto-thrust system had disengaged, that the TCAS (Traffic Collision Avoidance System) was in fault mode, and flight mode went from ‘normal law’ to ‘alternate law’; the remainder of the messages contained a fault message for an Air Data Inertial Reference Unit (ADIRU) and the Integrated Standby Instrument System (ISIS); a warning message indicated disagreement between the independent air data systems; a fault message for the flight management guidance and envelope computer was sent; one of the two final messages was a “cabin vertical speed warning.”

Sources close to the investigation confirmed that “the first automated system-failure message in a string of radio alerts from the crashed jet explicitly indicated that the airspeed sensors were faulty”. Other experts have commented that the ACARS transmissions clearly indicated an aircraft that was breaking up in flight.

According to the BEA the French agency charged with aircraft accident investigations:

  • The aircraft was likely to have struck the surface of the sea in a normal flight attitude, with a high rate of descent
  • There were no signs of fire or explosion
  • The aircraft did not break up in flight

I have identified at least 21 enabling factors that could have contributed to the loss of AF 447. The probable cause for this loss will likely never be known but BEA, Air France, and Airbus all seem determined to claim the aircraft “did not break up in flight” and that cabin pressure could not have been lost because the oxygen masks never deployed. While it may be true that the pressure vessel of the aircraft did not break up until the hull was below 14,000 feet (the triggering point for the oxygen masks), this does not mean that the vertical stabilizer, other flight surfaces, or the engines had not earlier separated from the main body of the aircraft.

Also of significance is the fact that bodies and parts of the aircraft were found scattered over a distance of 60 miles, indicating they fell separately to the water from high altitude.

AF 447 Vertical Stabilizer

Of roughly 400 pieces, the largest single piece of wreckage recovered from AF 447 was the vertical stabilizer. It had separated fairly cleanly from the rest of the aircraft and was found floating in the ocean. Loss of the vertical stabilizer was the cause of the crash of an American Airlines Airbus A300-605R in New York in 2001. While the US National Transportation Safety Board finally attributed the loss of that aircraft to the first officer’s “unnecessary and excessive” rudder inputs, the design of the vertical stabilizer and its attachment to the aircraft were still major concerns of the investigators.

It is also true that AF 447 was flying near large thunderstorms in the inter-tropic zone at the time of the accident. Wind shear may have been an enabling factor in the crash but the fact that other aircraft passed safely through the same storm line both before and after the accident aircraft make it doubtful that weather alone caused the accident.

Pitot Probe (Air Speed Sensor)

After the loss of AF 447, Airbus Industries accelerated a program to replace the Thales pitot probes on A330 and A340 aircraft with probes made by Goodrich. Previous incidents involving Airbus aircraft equipped with Thales pitot probes indicated the devices could ice over, generating erroneous airspeed indications.

All of this notwithstanding, Airbus engineers and executives as well as personnel operating Airbus equipment must carry some nagging doubts about the design, construction, and operation of the company’s products.

Boeing has been plagued by similar problems, such as the “rudder hard-overs”, that destroyed at least two 737’s. The problem was corrected by late 2008.

Airbus is in the unfortunate position of not knowing whether it has a real problem or is the victim of bad weather, inept piloting, or just plain bad luck.

As I said, explosive residue would have allowed a lot of Airbus people to sleep more soundly.

(Fair disclosure: my wife is a Boeing stockholder)


There’s No Real Point to This Story

March 1, 2010

If I were a Hollywood producer, looking to put together a comedy about some Middle Eastern asshole and his spoiled brat kid, I wouldn’t call a casting agent. I’d call Muammar Gaddafi and his son Hannibal and ask them to play themselves.

The first fifteen minutes of the script could be nothing but Quadafi trying to figure out how to write his name in the Roman alphabet: Quatafi, Khadafhey, Khataffi, Khedafy. “Jesus Christ, Omar, what’s the Arabic for ‘Smith’?”

Then we could do a little piece on how Qedaphi was a captain who took over Libya in a bloodless revolution and promoted himself to colonel. He apparently was wise enough, even then, to realize he’d never have what it takes to be a real general.

Middle Eastern Asshole

He lived out in the desert in a tent instead of the requisite palace. Some said he was an ascetic. I think he liked the idea of being able to step outside whenever he needed to take a piss. When the place starts to stink, just move the tent.

Recently Kahdaffee got religion and declared jihad on Switzerland, where most of the Quettafi money was stashed. Apparently the head of the Libyan government doesn’t have much faith in Libyan banks.

Why the jihad? Well Khetaffy was never known as a pious Muslim until the Swiss declared a ban on the construction of minarets. Quetafi suddenly got religion and declared jihad on the Swiss infidels, withdrawing his money from their banks and making it really, really tough for the Swiss to get visas to visit Libya. Jeez, that must have hurt in Berne and Geneva. I’ll bet there were planeloads of Swiss heading for the bazaars of Tripoli every weekend before Cataphi put the kybosh on visas for the infidels of the Alps.

“Let us wage jihad against Switzerland, Zionism and foreign aggression,” Khaddaffee said. “Any Muslim in any part of the world who works with Switzerland is an apostate, is against Muhammad, God and the Koran.”

The real reason for Qeuttahfi’s snit is more prosaic. He has eight children, seven of whom are, by current Middle Eastern standards, decent enough. At least none of the seven has been filmed beheading an adulteress, as far as we know.

Spoiled Brat Son of Middle Eastern Asshole

But that fifth kid, Hannibal (insert your own joke here) is in trouble in Switzerland and he’s been in trouble about everywhere he’s been. (There’s a reason he’s not home in Libya.) He’s got a rap sheet that would do a Brooklyn Mafioso proud:

  • 2001 – Attacked three Italian policemen with a fire extinguisher
  • 2004 – Detained in Paris after driving a Porsche at 90 mph in the wrong direction and through red lights down the Champs-Élysées while intoxicated
  • 2005 – While in Paris beat model and then girlfriend Alin Skaf; suspended sentence
  • 2008 – Hannibal and Alin Skaf, now Mrs. Hannibal Howeveryouspellit held for two days and charged with assaulting two of their servants in Geneva, Switzerland
  • 2009 – Police called to Claridges Hotel in London after staff heard a scream from Hannibal’s room. Aline Skaf was found to have suffered facial injuries including a broken nose, but charges were not pressed. She maintained she had “sustained the injuries in a fall.” (Didja ever notice that no matter how big an asshole some slightly famous guy is, there’s always a hot babe around who will put up with his shit? Right, Elin)?

Though some of Hannibal’s brothers are in the Libyan government already, I’m hoping that when the old man dies and the fratricide begins, Hannibal comes out on top. He’ll be even more fun to watch than his father.